Walking with Grief

When I felt my mother's death rattle in my arms

It was long before I knew the word for it.

When her heart stopped beating,

It was before I knew how long ours would break.

When our throats were choked with grief,

It was before I knew how long it would take us to breathe.

But if I had not let Grief walk by my side,

I would not have been watching, listening...

I would have missed seeing my mother 

In the rocking chair at the Farm,

Legs crossed, crossword puzzle in her lap. 

I would have missed seeing her 

By the pool in her floppy hat,
 
Enjoying my daughters yet another year.
 
I would have missed her talking through me
 
To tell her favorite nephew,
 
Tom, it's me, TeeTee, it's okay to go.

It takes time to walk these places with Grief,
 
To have these conversations,

To accept his healing.